


Call Me Buttlove

by brightblackholes



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Shakespeare References, because those are fun, takes place on a tour bus, they're all in the band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:50:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5972995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightblackholes/pseuds/brightblackholes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yeah, Buttlove.  Because you're my Romeo, Pattycakes, and that makes you my Buttlove, too."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Me Buttlove

**Author's Note:**

  * For [innstarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/innstarlight/gifts).



> I wrote this for a friend. We were discussing the "call me but love" line in Romeo and Juliet and she wanted a fic where Pete calls Patrick Buttlove, so here this is. Written quickly, not edited at all. My apologies for that.

Pete sighed loudly through his nose, bored out of his mind. The bus had been going for too long, and their last stop at a gas station hadn’t been long enough. He was restless and had already eaten all of the candy he bought and ran out of pages in one of his notebooks, but the scenery of Oklahoma could only be so interesting. It was all flat.

In the bunk across from him, a book rustled as it’s page was turned. Pete perked up at the sound. He had thought Patrick was sleeping, but if he was reading he might be able to persuade him to kill his boredom somehow. Joe was definitely asleep, as proven by the loud snoring from the bunk above Patrick, and he slept like a rock when he took naps. Andy was in a bit of a fickle mood and Pete didn’t want to mess with that. Besides, Pete had managed to annoy him to the point of shouting yesterday, and he didn’t really want a repeat of that.

Pete pulled back the curtain of his bunk. Patrick’s was open. It got stuffy sometimes, and the curtains could be really heavy, so it wasn’t a huge surprise, but it was a mistake on his part if he actually wanted to read the book in his hand.

“Patrick.” The other boy didn’t move. Pete knew he could still hear him, there were no headphones in sight and he knew how to make sure his voice always carried over the low hum of the bus and Joe’s snores, but Patrick could be seriously stubborn when he wanted to. He was never one to give in to Pete’s demands for attention right away. Pete was never one to give up, though. He liked to think he was persistent enough to wear down anyone, even Patrick.

“Patrick.”

Nothing.

“Paaaaaaatrick.”

Still nothing.

“Patrick. Pattycakes. Rickster. Stumpster. Stumpmeister. Stumpy. Pat-a-rick. Lunchbox. Mr. Hat Man. Soul Voice. Short Dude. Buttlove.--”

“ _Buttlove_?” Patrick spit, sounding scandalized. He was looking at Pete now, though, so that was a plus.

“Yeah, Buttlove,” he replied, getting out of his own bunk and draping himself over Patrick’s lap, screw the book. Patrick, of course, did not share the same sentiment and made a disgruntled sound before moving it out of the way and trying to smooth whatever page Pete had bent. “Because you’re my Romeo, Patticakes, and that makes you my Buttlove, too.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Yes it does. In the play, Romeo has some weird thing he says where he’s like, ‘call me buttlove and I’ll be reborn’ or something like that. I think it’s in the balcony scene.”

“It’s call me _but love_ , as in just call me love, because I hate my other names,” Patrick sighed.

“They’re pronounced the same way,” he shrugged, or at least tried to as well as he could when he was lying on his bandmate. “You’re still my Romeo.”

“That makes you a chick.”

“That makes us both dead.”

“What do you want, Pete?”

“Entertain me, Patrick. I’m boooooooored,” he whined.

“Entertain yourself. I just want to read.” Patrick tried to go back to his book, but Pete snatched it straight out of his hands and tossed it away with a startled “Hey!” from Patrick.

“Come on, I sure we can find something a bit more… _fun_. I don’t call you Buttlove for nothing. I also really love your butt, and how much you love _my_ butt” Pete suggested, waggling his eyebrows right before he ended up spilled on the floor.

“I’ll show you butt love,” Patrick threatened, getting down on the floor with him and looking like he was actually ready to tussle and maybe punch the bassist. Unfortunately, that was the moment Andy decided to try to cross through the bunk space.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear right now,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just keep it down and wait until I wake up Joe and we get out of here and to the lounge.”

“What? No that’s not what I--” Patrick’s sentence was cut off by Pete’s braying laughter as Joe started to stir under Andy’s persistent shaking.

“It’s okay; I have earplugs, just spare me the details,” Andy said. Joe blinked, confused, but at Andy’s beckoning he dropped from his bunk and followed the drummer out to the lounge.

“You’re such an asshole,” Patrick complained once they left, punching Pete in the shoulder. It kind of hurt. He could really pack a punch when he wanted to.

“But I’m _your_ asshole, and you’re my Buttlove, so it all works out in the end.”

Patrick groaned, but when he hung his head he leaned it against Pete’s shoulder, and when Pete laughed his lips quirked up in a smile, too. He supposed there are worse nicknames in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> The actual line is "Call me but love and I will be new baptized," but I figured Pete wouldn't have an entire Shakespeare play memorized to the exact word.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always nice


End file.
